Broken
by AJ6
Summary: Danny has always been a bit dramatic. But when his behavior becomes unusual, even for him, Steve is determined to find out why. But when he figures it out, things might never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

Broken-Chapter 1

"Well that's an hour and half of my life wasted that I will never get back."

Kono looked up from the desktop where she was reviewing telephone records and smiled at Danny as he approached her.

"Learn anything from the chat room transcripts?"

Dan tossed the stack of printouts on the desktop in disgust.

"Did I learn anything? Yeah. Yeah I learned something. I learned that I am…old. I also learned that the day that Gracie turns thirteen I need to shoot myself and end my misery before it starts. That's what I learned.

Kona chuckled. Danny could be so dramatic sometimes.

"That bad huh?"

Danny shook his head and grabbed the stack of papers.

"I don't even know what language these kids are speaking. I mean look at this."

He flipped through a few pages before pointing to an entry.

"Is that even English?"

Kono didn't answer. She was focused on Danny's hand that was shaking as he pointed to page. What was up with that?

"Kono?"

"It's just the way kids talk these days Brah." Kona informed him before adding. "Hey…you OK."

"Yeah. Why?" Danny replied.

"Your hands. They're shaking D."

Danny dropped the stack of papers back onto the desktop before shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I'm fine." He assured her. "Just too much coffee this morning. That's all."

"You sure."

"Yeah I'm positive." Danny insisted. "I didn't get too much sleep last night so I've been pounding the coffee."

"I think it's more than the coffee Danny. You look horrible." She had kept her mouth shut for days. They all had. But it was hard not to notice the dark circles under Danny's eyes each day or the fact that he had lost a significant amount of weight in the preceding weeks, which on his small frame, was only more evident.

"Kono! I said I'm fine. Can you just drop it!" Danny snapped.

Kono was taken aback by his harsh response. Danny never raised his voice at her. Steve…all the time. It seemed to be par for the course in their relationship. Chin…occasionally. But never her.

"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you." Danny said, running his hands though his hair in frustration. "It's just…I just…I need a minute. I need to get some air."

He stalked off toward the door, his head down and nearly ran straight into Steve who was on his way in.

"Hey Danno. Just the man I wanted to see."

"Not now Steve." Danny replied without looking up.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have someplace else to be?" Steve shot back sarcastically.

Danny stopped in his tracks, sighing. There were two ways this could go. He could reply with an equally snarky retort and prolong this conversation much longer than it needed to be. Which wouldn't be unusual for either of them. Or he could find out what Steve wanted and be done with it. He chose the latter.

"No." He replied calmly as he turned to face his boss. "I don't have any place else to be. What can I do for you Steven?"

"Well _Daniel_…If it woudn't be too much trouble, I was hoping you could run to the lab for me and pick up the test results Charlie just finished."

"Sure." Danny replied, turning toward the door.

"You're sure you're sure?" Steve goaded him. "I mean…I wouldn't want to put you out or anything."

Danny flipped him the bird as he continued toward the door.

"Love you too!" Steve hollered after him.

"Yeah. Yeah." Danny mumbled as he walked through the glass doors and disappeared around the corner.

Steve chuckled and turned to face Kono.

"What's with him?"

"I was hoping you could tell me Boss." Kono replied seriously.

"Beats me. I gave up trying to figure out his mood swings years ago."

"I think this is more than a mood swing Steve. I mean…have you really looked at him lately? He looks like shit."

Steve sighed. He _had_ noticed. But he had been trying to convince himself that Danny was just going through yet another self-induced dramatic episode and he would eventually get over it. He always had in the past.

"Has he said anything to you?" Kono pressed.

"No nothing." Steve insisted. "I mean, nothing out of the ordinary. Just the typical Danny Williams drama. You know…Gracie's starting junior high. Or Gracie's texting boys. Or Gracie left for school this morning wearing a skirt that didn't touch her knees. God forbid!"

Kono smiled.

"You know Boss, maybe you should cut him some slack. It's not easy for him raising Gracie by himself."

"Are you trying to make me feel bad?" Steve asked her.

"No, I'm just saying…he looks up to you. Your opinion matters to him."

"Oh come on." Steve protested. "Danny knows I think he's a great father."

"I know. I'm just saying…Maybe Danny could use a non-judgmental friend to talk to right now. That's all.

"Fine." Steve replied. "When Danny gets back I will talk to him."

"Well that was fast." Kono replied with slightly confused look on her face.

"Kono, I'm not unreasonable. You think I should talk to Danny, I'll talk to Danny."

"Talk to Danny about what?"

Steve whipped around and was surprised to see Danny walking toward his office.

"Didn't he just leave like 5 seconds ago?" Steve asked Kono.

"Um…yeah." Kono replied.

Steve frowned and followed Danny into his office.

"You forget something?" He asked as Danny settled himself at his desk and started fumbling through some paperwork scattered there.

"Ah…I don't think so." Danny replied. "Hey what did you want to talk to me about? And make it fast. I wanna get this report done while I'm slightly motivated. And I'm pretty sure this motivation is fleeting so…clock's a tickin'."

Steve just stared at his partner for moment, totally confused.

"You're messing with me. Right?"

Danny paused as if giving Steve's question some serious thought before replying.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Danny!"

"What!"

Steve raised his hands and grimaced as though he was ready to strangle his partner. He took a deep breath to calm himself before continuing.

"I just asked you less than five minutes ago, to pick the test results from the lab. Ring a bell?"

"Oh!" Danny snapped his fingers and jumped up from his chair. "Right! The lab report."

"Yeah…the lab report. Danny what…."

"I'm going right now. I just gotta find my keys." Danny insisted moving papers around on the desk as he searched.

"You know what…never mind." Steve said.

"No! I'm going! Just give me a second. You don't have to get so pissy."

"I'm not getting pissy Danny. I just…"

"Yes you are!" Danny shouted. "God forbid I forget something! I got sidetracked talking to someone in the hallway and had a temporary brain fart. OK? Sue me! We not all perfect like you!"

"I never said you had to be perfect."

"Oh Please! I can never do anything right! You're always bitching at me about something!"

"I was just going to suggest, that since you are busy with your report, I could call Chin and have him swing by the lab on his way back from the crime scene. I wasn't bitching at you Danny! What the hell is the matter with you!

"Nothing! Nothing is the matter with me!"

Steve raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms across his chest. If Danny wanted to play this game, that was fine with him. But he was determined to stand there until his partner explained himself.

"Fine." Danny finally caved. "I got a headache. OK?"

"A headache?"

"Yes a headache. What? You never get headaches?"

Steve smirked and shook his head. Was Danny seriously trying to provoke an argument again? He wasn't going to take the bait. Not this time.

"Fine. You have headache. Why don't you call it a day."

"You're sending me home?"

"Yes Danny. I'm sending you home. You have a headache. Go home. Take some aspirin. Take a nap. Lose the headache. I will see you tomorrow."

"OK." Danny nodded. "I'll go home. Just as soon as find my keys."

"Check your pocket."

Danny slapped his hand on his pants pocket and sure enough, the keys were there.

"Once again, you again you always have to be right." Danny said coming around the desk and heading toward the door.

"I don't always have to be right. But in this situation I just happened to be. Deal with it!" Steve called after him.

Danny ignored him, storming out the office just as Kono was coming in.

"Everything OK?" She asked as Danny passed.

"Everything is great." Danny replied sarcastically, continuing out of the office without offering any further information.

Kono turned her attention to Steve.

"Is he going to the lab?

"No. He is going home.

"Home?

"Yes home. He's got headache and he's grumpy. And I don't like grumpy Danny. So grumpy Danny is going home. Can we get back to work now?"

"Yeah but is he OK?"

Steve sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know."

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Broken – Chapter 2

"Well I'm sorry you won't be able to join us for beers tonight, but I completely understand you wanting to check in on Danny." Lou told Steve as they descended the stairway of the Five-O headquarter building after what seemed like to Steve, an excruciatingly long day.

"Wish I could be there. Believe me. It sounds much more enjoyable than going another couple rounds with Danny but, you know…" Steve stopped and turned to face Lou. "What can I do?"

"I know." Lou replied sympathetically. "You're really worried about him. Aren't you?"

Steve nodded.

"I didn't want to let on to Kono but yeah- I really am. These past few weeks he's just been completely off."

"Well, you would know. You know him best."

"I mean, just between you me, Danny's always been a little anxiety prone but recently he's taken it to whole new level. And when he's not stressing out, he's just completely out of it. Today for instance…I asked him to go the lab and not even five minutes later, he had completely forgotten. It was like we never even had the conversation."

"I heard." Lou replied.

Steve shook his head.

"Anyway…I'm sure he is going to be thrilled to see me tonight after the blowout we had today but he is just going to have to deal with it, because I am not leaving until we sort this out.

Lou smiled and placed a hand on his new bosses shoulder.

"Well, good luck with that. And uh…I should let you go because it sounds like you are going to have a long night ahead of you."

"God I hope not." Steve moaned and turned toward to the doors.

"Hey Steve."

"Yeah." Steve replied, turning back to Lou."

"You're a good friend. Danny's lucky to have you."

"Thanks Lou."

Steve turned back and exited to the parking lot. He was halfway to his truck when he heard a familiar voice calling to him from across the lot.

"Commander McGarret! Commander McGarrett!"

Steve turned and saw Officer Pua Kai jogging toward him from across the lot.

"Pua." Steve said once the officer was close enough to hear him. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't have to call me Commander McGarrett. OK? Steve is fine."

The way Pua smiled you would have though Steve had just offered him a million dollars.

"Thanks Commander…I mean, Steve."

"No problem. Now what's up?"

"I was just wondering if everything was OK with Detective Williams.

_If one more person asks me that today, I'm gonna flip out. _Steve was tempted to reply.

"Why do you ask?" He replied instead.

"Well I ran into him in the evidence archives last week and he looked awful."

"You ran into Danny in the evidence archives?"

"Yeah." Pua replied. And off Steve's obvious look of confusion he added "I know. You are probably wondering what a rookie cop was doing in the evidence archives."

Actually, Steve was more concerned with what _Danny_ was doing in the evidence archives last week. He had no reason to be there. At least not that Steve was aware of. But before he could reply, Pua continued.

"I'm helping some Detectives over in HPD with a cold case they're working on." He proclaimed proudly.

"Really?" Steve replied, trying for Pua's sake to sound impressed.

"Really. I don't know if I told you this, but I want to be a Detective one day."

"Yeah, you may have mentioned it once or twice."

_Or three or four or five times…_

"Who knows? Maybe I'll even work Five-0 one day!"

"You know what?" Steve smiled and slapped Pua's shoulder. "We'd be lucky to have you buddy."

"Well thank you Commander. That really means a lot coming from you."

"You don't have to thank me Pua. It's the truth." Steve insisted.

"Anyway, back to Detective Williams. When I ran into him he really looked…I don't know…like he was sick or something. And if you don't mind me saying so, a little unkempt. Which was surprising, you know? Cause Detective Williams in known within HPD as always being so put together. Did you know that when he first transferred here from the mainland he used wear ties to work? I mean…who does that?"

Steve laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah, I remember. It took us almost a year to get him to lose the tie when he joined the task force."

"So you know what I'm talking about then. It just seemed very unlike him."

"I'm sure there is nothing to worry about Pua." Steve lied. "But I appreciate your concern."

"Well Detective Williams has always been very good to me. I'd hate to think there was something wrong with him."

"Well, like I said, I'm sure it's nothing. But I'll keep my eye on him."

"I know you will. Have a good night Commander."

"You too Pua."

Steve gave the young the young officer another friendly slap on the shoulder before turning and heading quickly to his truck. He wanted desperately to get out of there before he got sidetracked any further. He needed to get to Danny's house and get this figured out.

Steve pulled into Danny's driveway and parked his truck behind Danny's car. He looked up to the house which was completely dark except for a faint light coming from Danny's living room and briefly considered putting the truck in reverse and leaving this whole confrontation until tomorrow. But then his conversation with Pua would replay itself in his head and he knew had had to go in. It was one thing for Danny's Ohana in the Five-0 task force to notice some unusual behavior. But Pua didn't know Danny that well. If he noticed, who else had?

Steve hopped out of the truck and headed toward the front door. When he got there he paused a moment, then knocked. He gave Danny a minute to answer and when he didn't he knocked again.

"Danny. It's Steve, open up."

Still nothing.

"Come on Buddy, I know you're in there. We need to talk. Open up."

Nothing.

Steve sighed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He knew Danny was home. It wasn't his night to have Grace and the only a person he hung out with other than Steve and the rest of the Five-0 team with any regularity was Amber. And even those outings were coming few and far between.

He knocked again.

"Danny if you don't open the door, I'm going to use my key."

Still nothing.

"Fine…you wanna be that way. I'm coming in." Steve warned him.

He fumbled with his key chain until he found the key Danny had given him for emergencies and used it to unlock the door.

He entered the house and was surprised to see Danny not five feet from the door, asleep on the couch. On the table in front of the couch there was a nearly empty bottle of vodka and half full glass.

_Well, that's one way to deal with a headache_.

Coming around to the front of the couch, Steve leaned down and gently shook Danny's arm.

"Hey."

When that didn't illicit a response, he shook him harder.

"Hey Danny. Get up." He said a little louder.

Danny groaned and without opening his eyes, swatted at Steve's hand.

"Go away." He mumbled.

"Danny, I'm not fuckin' around. I mean it. Get up." Steve warned. He was losing his patience as well as getting a bit worried. Danny wasn't much of a drinker. Aside from the occasional beer. And this definitely wasn't like him. He was about to smack him again, when something on the floor under the coffee table caught his eye.

He bent down and picked it up and found it was small prescription pill. He couldn't tell what it was. But one thing was for certain…it wasn't aspirin. Steve found himself suddenly panicking. Suddenly, Danny's mood swings and strange behaviors were starting to make sense. He bent down again and this time grabbed Danny firmly by his shirt and started shaking him.

"Danny, get up! Look at me. What is this? Danny groaned again and mumble something unintelligible.

"Danny, what did you take?" Steve asked him shaking him some more.

"Stop!" Danny finally cracked his eyes open and swung aimlessly at his partner. "What do you want?"

Steve sighed with relief. At least Danny was talking.

"Danny," Steve said calmly, holding the pill between his thumb and forefinger, "What is this? What are you taking?"

"None of your business." Danny snapped at him. "Go away."

Danny rolled over on the couch so his back was now to Steve.

"Dammit!" Steve cried, straightening back up and contemplating what to do next. It was obvious he was getting nowhere with Danny. He weighed his options for a moment and then headed off in the direction of Danny's bedroom. If Danny wasn't going to tell him what he was taking, he would find out himself.

He entered the room and immediately started emptying drawers in the night stand and bureau. Nothing. He stuffed his hands under Danny's mattress and circled the bed, but still came up empty. Moving onto to the master bathroom he opened the medicine cabinet but found only some aspirin and prescription for Amoxicillin, made out to Grace Williams, that was few months old. No doubt from when she had strep throat a month or so ago.

_Think! Think! Where would Danny hide it?_

And then it hit him. Steve headed over to Danny's closet and swung open the door. There on a shelf beneath his hanging clothes was a portable safe that Danny used to lock up his weapon each night. That had to be it.

Hurrying back into the living room. Steve grabbed Danny, not caring at this point if he hurt him or not, and dragged him from the couch.

"What the…" Danny started to protest as Steve started dragging him toward the bedroom.

"Shut up and move." Steve spat angrily.

"Let me go Steven." Danny hollered.

"Shut up and get in there." Steve replied, shoving Danny into the room.

Danny stumbled into the room and fell flat on his face. Steve didn't even wait for him to get up. He grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over to the open closed.

"Open it!" He demanded, pointing to the safe.

"What?"

"Open the damn safe Danny!" Steve repeated.

"No…Why?"

"Open the damn safe or I swear to God I will bust it open."

"You're going to break open a safe. You can't break open a safe." Danny challenged.

"Really? You care to test that hypothesis partner. Because I think you know I'm pretty resourceful when I want to be."

"Steve…"

"OPEN THE SAFE DANNY! NOW!"

"OK! OK! Relax!"

Danny's hand shook as he reached out to punch in the code that would open the safe. Steve wasn't sure if it was the drugs or fear that was causing it. Steve had never yelled at him like that before.

There was a beep that signaled the safe was unlocked. Danny opened the door and immediately stuck his hand inside but Steve quickly grabbed him and tossed him like a rag doll into the side of the closet.

"Yeah. I don't think so pal. Stay there!"

Danny looked on the verge of tears now but Steve didn't care. He reached into the safe and pulled out Danny's service weapon and placed it on top of the safe. Reaching back in, he pulled out a prescription bottled and examined it.

"Those are prescription." Danny insisted.

"Uh huh." Steve replied sticking his hand back in. "And what about this?" He asked Danny pulling out a large sandwich bag filled unidentified pills.

Danny lowered his head so he wouldn't have to look Steve in the eyes. "Shit" He groaned.

"You stupid son of bitch" Steve hollered at him and with little effort he dragged Danny from the closet, taking him across the room and slamming him into the wall. Danny's head snapped back and slammed against the wall with a loud thud. He winced in pain.

"Steve, please! Let me explain!"

But Steve didn't wait for an explanation. He raised his fist and punched Danny hard across the face. And when Danny fell sideways from the force of the blow, Steve quickly straightened him back up and hit him again.

"Is this what you were doing in the evidence archive last week Danny? Huh? Stealing from HPD?" He hit him again. "You have a daughter dammit!"

Danny was sobbing now, but didn't raise a hand to defend himself. Steve let him go and he slumped to the floor.

Steve was shaking himself at this point. He was angry and scared to the death for his friend. He had no idea how to even begin to deal with this.

"Stay there!" He told Danny and left the room.

Steve hurried through the living room and out the front door. He needed air and badly. It seemed like everything was spinning out of control and he had no idea what to do. He needed help.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. With a shaky hand, he dialed a number and brought the phone to his ear. The phone rang twice and a familiar voice answered.

"Yeah, this is Grover."

"Lou!"

"Steve?"

"Yeah." Steve replied, pacing back in forth in front of the house. "You alone?"

"Yeah why?" Lou asked him. He had been sitting at a restaurant with his old SWAT teammates, but had gotten up and excused himself when his phone rang.

"Lou, I need your help. Can you come to Danny's house?"

"Of course. What's wrong? Is Danny OK."

"I can't explain over the phone." Steve told him. "I just…I just really need you over here. Now."

"Steve, what's going on?" He could hear the panic in Steve's voice. It was something he never heard before.

"I'll explain when you get here. Just please hurry."

"Yeah. OK, I'm on my way." Lou replied.

"And Lou…Don't tell anyone where you're going. OK? Not anyone!"

"Sure Steve. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

TBD


	3. Chapter 3

Broken – Chapter 3

Lou made it Danny's house in record time. His mind racing the entire way. He could hear the panic in Steve's voice and it frightened him. It wasn't something he had ever heard from Steve who was always so calm and in control. He was imagining the worst as he pulled into the driveway of Danny's small house.

Steve was sitting on the stoop, elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands. He looked up when Lou pulled up. Lou got out and quickly rushed to him. As he got closer, he was shocked to see that Steve had been crying-his eyes puffy and red. Again…something that Lou had never witnessed.

"Steve, what the hell is going on? " Lou demanded. "Where is Danny?"

"In the house." Steve replied quietly.

Lou hurried toward the door and had his hand on the handle, when Steve stopped him.

"Lou wait."

"What do mean wait? Steve what the hell is going on? I am freaking out here! Is Danny OK?"

"No." Steve replied with surprising calm. "No he's definitely not OK."

Lou just shook his head and gave Steve a look as if to say –_Then what the hell are we doing out here?_

In response, Steve reached into the large pocket of his cargo pants and pulled out the bag of pills he took from Danny's safe and tossed them to Lou.

"Holy shit." Lou responded, examining the bag in his hand. "You took this from Danny?"

Steve nodded.

"Where the hell did he get it?"

"He uh…took it from the evidence archives at HPD."

"No." Lou shook his head. "There's got to be some mistake. Danny would never…"

"He took it from the evidence archives Lou." Steve insisted. "Pua Kai saw him coming out of there last week. There was no other reason for Danny to be there."

"Do we even know what this shit is?" Lou asked.

Steve shook his head.

"No idea. But he has a prescription for this." Steve tossed him the prescription bottle he took from Danny's safe.

"Sertraline."

"Yeah. I looked it up online. It's for uh…anxiety."

"Yeah I know. My sister takes it. Why is Danny taking it?"

When Steve didn't answer, Lou continued.

"Steve, does Danny suffer from anxiety?"

Steve nodded.

"Did you know?"

"Yeah. I mean…No!" Steve sighed and took a breath. Trying to compose himself.

"I mean…Danny's always been a little high strung. I didn't think it was big deal though. Not until recently anyway."

"What happened recently? How recent are we talking?"

"The parking garage bombing four months ago. When Danny and I were trapped."

"Oh Jesus." Lou groaned. "That would be beyond stressful under normal circumstances but for someone with anxiety issues…"

"Yeah and Danny's claustrophobic. But he did OK. You know…he had his little coping technique…"

"Coping technique?"

"Yeah. When he stressed he recites the 86 Mets line-up. He said it helps him relax." And off Lou's confused look he added, "It's weird. I know. But it worked for him and he did fine. He was little agitated, but that's nothing unusual for him."

"So then I take that's not what you were referring to."

"No. I knew Danny was claustrophobic. It was when we were crawling out he said something…something pretty disturbing."

"What did he say?"

"He said…" Steve choked back a sob. Lou sat down on the step beside him and placed a hand on Steve's shoulder in attempt to comfort him.

"He said that ever since he was a little kid, he's been plagued with these fears that something terrible was going to happen to either himself or the people he loves. He said he has never…_ever_ experienced prolonged happiness, because whenever something good does happen to him, he becomes obsessed with when it's going to end. Even with Grace…she's the best thing that has ever happened to him, but he can't just enjoy this time with her because he's obsessively thinking about when she grows up and leaves him."

"You can't live like that. That's not normal." Lou said.

"I know it's not normal. That's what I…" Steve stopped abruptly and looked up. "Oh shit. That's what I told him. Oh my God!" Steve buried his face in his hands again. "I told him he wasn't normal. I told him he had to change. This is all my fault."

"No!" Lou shook his head adamantly. "This is not your fault Steve. This is totally out of character for Danny. There is no way you could have known he would do something like this."

"He was confiding in me Lou! He was trying to make me understand how he was hurting and I…I…I insulted him. I put him down!"

"No you didn't. You were just pointing out the truth. He needed someone to do that for him. Steve, nothing was going to change for him until he accepted the fact that these fears are irrational and he did something about it."

"But look what he did!" Steve cried. "He could've killed himself! Not to mention the fact that if this gets out…"

"I know. I know." Lou replied.

"Lou…what are we going to do?"

To be continued…

Authors note: I know this seems very unlike something Danny would do, but I have always felt that there was something going on with him as far as his anxiety level goes. Hopefully the next few chapters will adequately explain why Danny chose to do what he did. Thanks for reading and all the reviews. They are greatly appreciated.

.


	4. Chapter 4

Broken – Chapter 4

Steve followed Lou into the house. They found Danny, sitting silently on the couch in much the same manner that Lou had found Steve moments earlier, with his elbows on his knees and his head resting in his hands. Steve hung back while Lou circled the couch and approached his friend.

"Hey Danny." He greeted him.

Danny briefly looked up, saw Lou standing before him and immediately hung his head again in shame.

Lou put his hand under Danny's chin, forcing him to raise his head. Danny's face was a mess. His right eye was swollen shut, his cheek bruised, his lower lip was split and bleeding.

Lou quickly turned to Steve with a look of shock and disbelief. It was hard for him to imagine Steve ever raising a hand against Danny. They were like brothers and had been for as long as he had known them.

"You need to use your words!" He admonished Steve sternly.

Steve opened his mouth to respond, but Danny beat him to it.

"It's not Steve's fault. It's my fault."

"Danny why?" Steve came around the couch and dropped to his knees in front of his partner. "Why would you do this?'

Danny looked up at his partner, his blue eyes brimming with tears.

"I'm sorry."

Steve reach out and grabbed Danny's arms tightly.

"Dammit Danny! I don't want to hear you're sorry!"

"Steve!" Lou took a step forward, fearful that Steve was about lose it again.

Steve immediately released his grip on Danny's arms. He was grateful Lou was there. It was exactly the reason he called him. He didn't want to lose his cool again and hurt his friend any more than he already had. He brought his hand around and placed it on the back of Danny's neck and lowered his head, so that their foreheads were practically touching.

"Danno, you don't have to tell me you're sorry. OK? I know you're sorry. I just want to know why? Why would you do this to yourself?"

Danny reached out and gripped the sleeve of Steve's shirt and began to sob.

"I can't make it stop. I tried."

"Can't make what stop?" Steve asked, settling back on his knees.

"My brain…my thoughts…it's just always going, going, going and _never_ any place good. Anytime I'm not busy, my mind… it goes to these terrible places. I'm either back in that garage or worrying about Gracie or you. Everything!"

"You worry about me?" Steve asked him, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah I worry about you." Danny replied, as if that was the stupidest question ever. "You're crazy! I'm surprised you're not dead already. We should all get hazard pay just for working with you."

"He's got a point." Lou agreed. Taking a seat beside Danny.

Steve rolled his eyes.

"OK…but you've talked to a Doctor, yeah? I'm mean you have a prescription."

"Yeah, I talked to a Doctor. I talked to my primary. But the stuff he gave me is not working."

"Well Danny, finding the right dosage with these meds takes time." Lou informed him. "You got to give him a chance."

"He already told me, who won't give me any more. Not until I see a specialist."

"A specialist? You mean like a Psychiatrist." Steve asked him.

"Yes Steven." Danny snapped at him. "A Psychiatrist. Thank you for making me say it out loud."

Danny shook his head in frustration. He hadn't meant to snap at his partner like that. He really didn't like having to talk about this. But at this point…he didn't have a choice.

"My Doctor thinks…" Danny struggled a bit, searching for the right words. "He thinks, my symptoms may be indicative of an anxiety disorder."

Lou and Steve exchanged a look before Steve turned back to Danny.

"Well D…that makes sense."

"No it doesn't!" Danny snapped back angrily. "Steve I'm a cop!"

"And a damn good one Danny! This doesn't change that!" Steve insisted.

"Sure. Right." Danny replied sarcastically. "Until this gets out and I become the cop that no one wants covering their back because they're afraid he'll crack under pressure and get them killed! I'm not going to be _that_ cop Steve! I won't!"

Danny stood up and shoved his way past Steve. He crossed the room and began pacing nervously back and forth. He was shaking, but Steve couldn't tell if it was just because he was upset or because he hadn't had any meds in several hours.

Steve stood up and glanced at Lou, hoping he would have some idea as to how to handle this, but Lou just shrugged and shook his head.

"OK, just relax. Let's back up a minute." Steve said calmly. "You said your Doctor wouldn't increase your prescription so what…is that when you decided to steal from HPD?"

"No." Danny replied, still pacing nervously. "I just…I just, you know, figured I'd just double up on what he prescribed."

"Double up?" Steve repeated.

"Or triple up. Whatever took the edge off."

"Danny!" Lou exclaimed.

"I know!" Danny replied. "But it backfired on me anyway because when you double up on your dosage…"

"It runs out a lot quicker." Steve finished for him.

"Right." Danny nodded. "I swear to you both, I was going to stop right then. I tried. I did. But everything just got worse."

"It's called withdrawal Danny." Lou interjected.

"Yes…I know." Danny swung around angrily and sent the nearest lamp flying across the room, smashing into pieces against the far wall.

"I was stuck." Danny continued. "I didn't have a choice. I had to do something. I couldn't go back to the Doctor. He would have known what I had done."

"You should have come to me Danny." Steve insisted. "Why didn't you come to me?"

Danny laughed in that manic way he did when something was stressing him out or someone said something he thought was totally ridiculous.

"Yeah right!"

Steve was speechless for a moment. Speechless and hurt. He had become extremely close with Danny the past four years. At least he thought he had. It hurt him to think Danny didn't trust him enough to confide in him.

"You don't think you could have talked to me about this." Steve asked him-his voice breaking a bit as he tried to control his emotions.

"No. I don't." Danny shot back, needing no time to think about it. "And I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but you just don't understand. You can't."

"How do you know? You never gave me a chance!" Steve hollered back.

"What are you talking about? I tell you all the time when I'm stressed out and every time you tell me how ridiculous I'm being!"

"I didn't realize…" Steve started to explain but Danny cut him off.

"I know that." Danny exclaimed. "And you know why…because you can't understand Steve. It is impossible for someone like you to understand someone like me! You're mister super seal. Not afraid of anything. Me…I'm afraid of everything! Right?"

"Alright guys, that's enough." Lou jumped up from where he sat on the couch and stepped between the bickering men. "Stop now before you both say something you are going to regret."

But it was too late. They had both already said so much that they regretted. Both men were in tears at this point and Lou felt utterly helpless to control the situation.

Steve shoved his way past Lou and angrily pointed his finger in Danny's face.

"You know what Danny? You're wrong about me. I do get scared. _This_, right here, right now…_this_ scares the hell out of me!"

And with that, he stormed out the front door leaving Danny standing silently, tears streaming down his face.

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

Broken- Part 5

"You OK?" Lou asked Steve when he re-entered the house about 30 minutes later.

"Yeah. Sorry for bailing on you like that." Steve replied. "I just needed some air. Thanks for sticking around."

"Please, you really think I'd leave you two at this point?"

Steve smiled at his friend. He had no words to express his appreciation. There was no way he could deal with this on his own.

"Where's Danny?"

"Bedroom." Lou replied.

Steve took a deep breath and exhaled through his mouth as he tried to calm himself and mentally prepare for what was sure to be another tense exhange with his partner.

"OK. I should go check on him."

Steve headed toward the bedroom, but Lou grabbed him by the arm as he walked past.

"Hold up Steve. We need to talk about this. We need to figure out what we're going to do here."

Steve exhaled loudly again and looked down at the ground. When he didn't respond, Lou continued.

"Steve, this could get _really_ bad, _really_ fast."

"Yeah, I'm aware Lou!" Steve snapped at him.

"Well, I think we need to consider taking Danny to a hospital."

Before Steve could open his mouth to respond, Danny's voice rang out from across the room.

"No! No hospital! No way!"

He rushed across the room, pointing a finger accusingly at Lou.

"You are not taking me anywhere. Do you hear me?"

"Danny…" Steve began.

"No Steve! No!" Danny kept his arm outstretched but backed away from his friends as if afraid they were going to grab him and take him against his will.

"Danny!" Lou took a step toward the young man, but Steve reached out with one arm, holding him back. Danny was starting to panic and the last thing you wanted to do when Danny was panicked was crowd him. Lou nodded at Steve letting him know he understood before continuing.

"Danny." He said, trying to keep his voice calm. "You have been abusing some serious medication. Without it, you are going to start going through some seriously intense withdrawal and from the looks of you, it's probably already started.

"He's right Danny." Steve said.

"I don't care!" Danny insisted. "I will deal with it!"

"Deal with it?" Lou exclaimed. "Danny, you need to be under a doctor's supervision!"

"No! No Doctors! No hospital! If this gets out I will lose my daughter. Do you understand that?"

"You could die Danny! Do you understand _that_?" Lou hollered back.

"Then I die!" Danny exclaimed. "I would rather die than have to look my daughter in the eyes and admit what I've done. I would rather die than disappoint her again!"

"No one's dying. Stop it!" Steve ordered.

"I want you both to go." Danny said calmly, pointing to the door.

"What?"

"I appreciate you both trying to help. But I'm going to deal with this on my own."

"Yeah…that's not going to happen buddy." Steve informed him.

Danny rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You won't leave. I'm gonna leave."

Danny started toward the front door, but Lou stepped into the space between the couch and front door, effectively blocking his path.

"Get out of my way Lou."

"Not happening Danny. Sorry."

"Get out of my way!" Danny tried to shove his way past Lou, but it was futile. In his current condition, he was no match for the much larger man. Lou took hold of Danny's arms as Danny fought against his grip.

"Get off of me Lou!"

Steve rushed forward and captured Danny in bear hug from behind, pinning his arms to his side.

"Steve! No!"

"Calm down Danny. Please!"

"Let go of me! Argh!" Danny screamed. He was shaking uncontrollably now and Steve could feel his friend's heart pounding as he tightened his grip in an attempt to control him. With little effort, Steve whipped Danny around and brought him to his knees.

"Stop Danny." Steve was kneeling behind Danny, draped over his body with his arms still wrapped tightly around Danny's mid-section.

"Please let me go Steve! Please!" Danny sobbed, gasping for breath. "I can't lose my daughter! I can't!"

"I won't let that happen Danny. I promise you. You need to relax."

"Monkey!" Danny sobbed.

"It's OK." Steve tried to calm. "I gotcha buddy. You're gonna be OK. We'll figure this out."

"No hospital. Please, no hospital." Danny had stopped struggling and collapsed into heap in his partner's arms.

"No hospital Danno." Steve whispered quietly into his partner's ear. "No hospital, I promise."

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"_No hospital Danno. No hospital, I promise."_

That promise he made to his partner kept Steve up all night, tossing and turning on Danny's couch. As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. Because truth be told, if push came to shove and Danny's life was on the line…Steve _would_ call for help. He wasn't about to let his friend die. He just prayed he never had to make that call.

Steve stood up and stretched, his neck and back aching in protest after the long night on the couch, and headed toward the kitchen. It was 5:30 and Lou had promised to return at 6:00, relieving Steve for a few hours so he could go the Palace and fill Kono and Chin in on what was going on.

Once in the kitchen, Steve started searching the cabinets for coffee. He desperately needed the caffeine if he was going to make it through the day. He didn't find any as Danny preferred tea, and unfortunately, the only tea he found was decaf.

"Decaf? Seriously?" Steve muttered to himself. "I mean really, what is the point?"

"Are you talking to yourself?" Startled, Steve spun around and saw Danny shuffling into the kitchen from the living room

"Hey." Steve greeted him, placing the box of tea down on the counter and turning to face his friend. "How are you feeling?"

Danny groaned and took a seat at the counter.

"Like death."

"Sorry pal." Steve replied sympathetically. "Do you want some toast or something?"

"No thanks. I already hurled once. I don't think there is a whole lot left in my stomach, but whatever is left I would like it to remain there for the time being."

"I'll make you some tea."

Danny shook his head.

"Danny, you gotta at least drink something." Steve told him.

"Fine. I will try." Danny conceded.

Steve grabbed the tea kettle from the stove and began filling it at the sink.

"So…what's the plan?" Danny asked him, rubbing his eyes with his increasingly shaky hands.

Steve set the pot down on the stove top and turned the burner on.

"The plan?"

"Yes Steven, the plan. Are you just going to stay here and babysit me all day or what?"

"Uh…pretty much." Steve replied. "Only, we're not staying here. We're going to my house. So you're going to have to pack a bag because Lou will be here at six. He'll take you to my house while I go into the office for a bit and talk to Chin and Kono."

"Wait. What about Gracie? I'm supposed to have her tomorrow night."

"I was getting to that. You interrupted me."

"I'm sorry. Please continue." Danny replied sarcastically.

"Before we go, I want you to call Rachel and tell her you've received a subpeona for a criminal case you worked on back in Jersey. Tell her you don't know how long you'll be gone and you will call her when you get back."

Danny's eyes welled up with tears. He crossed his arms on the counter and lowered his head to avoid looking at Steve.

"I'm sorry Danno." Steve said, coming around the counter and placing a hand gently on his friends shoulder. "I know how much you hate missing a weekend with Grace."

"It's alright." Danny replied, raising his head and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "At least I have an excuse not to go to Grace's cheer competition on Saturday."

"Gracie's going to be in a cheer competition?"

Danny nodded.

"And you don't want to go."

"No. I don't." Danny replied matter of factly.

Steve tilted his head and gave Danny a look of utter confusion.

"Why?" He finally asked him.

"Why? I will tell you why. Because it is terrifying. That's why. We are not talking about some rinky dink Pop Warner cheerleading team here Steve. Gracie is on an elite competition team. We're talking 20 plus 9 to 12 twelve year old girls back flipping across the stage all at the same time. Criss-crossing and coming within inches of colliding with each other.

Steve's eyes grew wide with amazement as Danny continued.

"They throw my baby girl way up into the air and trust these tiny little preteen girls to catch her. It's absolutely horrifying."

"Wow!" Steve replied. "I had no idea Gracie was that good."

"She's _very_ good." Danny admitted. "And she loves it. I on the other hand, hate it. I am having a panic attack just thinking about it."

And he was. Steve could clearly see it. Danny was practically hyperventilating at this point and his shaking had become more noticeable.

"Well, stop thinking about it." Steve instructed him. "Gracie is going to be fine and you don't have to watch so…just put it out of your mind for now."

"She really wanted me to be there though." Danny said quietly, a single tear trickling down his cheek. "I told her I would go. She's going to be so upset. "

Steve sighed and put his arm around Danny's slight frame and pulled his friend close.

"I know buddy. I'm sorry."

To be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

Broken – Chapter 6

Steve tapped on the glass of Chin's office on his way into the common area of the 5-0 headquarters and motioned for him to come out. Kono was already there, busily reviewing some files on the desktop as Steve approached.

"Hey Boss." She briefly glanced up at Steve before turning her attention back to the tabletop screen. "Danny and Lou aren't here yet."

"Yeah, I know." Steve replied, hoping he didn't sound as distressed as he felt.

Kono looked back up at Steve and eyed him up and down before cracking a smile.

"Commander McGarrett…Are you wearing the same clothes you left here in last night?"

"Leave it to my cousin to be the first to notice something like that." Chin chuckled, joining his teammates at the desk.

"Yeah, well it's not what you think." Steve insisted.

"Hey it's OK Brah. We've all done the walk of shame at one point or another." Kono teased.

Chin raised an eyebrow at his cousin.

"Oh relax cuz. Like you never…"

"Guys!" Steve said raising his voice. "It's not what you're thinking. Believe me. I wish it was."

"What's going on Steve?" Chin asked, clearly picking up on the tension in Steve's voice.

Steve ran his hands through his hair and glanced nervously back toward the door to make sure no one else was coming in.

"Listen to me, both of you, very carefully. What I am about to tell you does not leave this room. OK?"

"Well that doesn't sound good." Kono replied, stating the obvious.

"Steve, where are Danny and Lou?" Chin asked.

"Lou is at Danny's house. That's where I was last night. Guys…Danny's in trouble."

Steve filled the cousins in on the situation with Danny, starting from the abuse of his prescribed medication culminating with him stealing what he could no longer get legally from the HPD archives. When he was through, Kin and Kono stood there in stunned silence.

"Oh my God." Chin groaned eventually breaking the silence.

"What are we going to do?" Kono asked. "I mean Danny needs professional help. Right?"

"He is really freaked out right now guys. He went ballistic last night when Lou mentioned taking him to a Hospital."

"So what did you do?" Chin asked.

"I promised him I wouldn't."

"I was afraid you were going to say that." Chin replied shaking his head.

"I didn't have a choice Chin!" Steve shot back defensively. "He was this close to having a full on panic attack. He is terrified that if anyone finds out, he'll lose Grace."

"Well that's a reasonable assumption." Chin replied.

"And I won't let that happen to him! That little girl means everything to Danny!"

"We know that Steve." Kono said quietly.

"So what…you're just going to let him quit cold turkey and hope for the best?" Chin asked him.

Steve nodded.

"That's the only plan we got right now."

Chin sighed.

"What can we do to help?"

Steve gave his friends a weak smile.

"Danny is going to stay at my house for the next few days and I can't leave him alone. I need you guys to cover for me here. If something comes up, tell Lou and he'll come and switch up with me."

"Can we see Danny? Kono asked him.

Reluctantly, Steve shook his head.

"I don't think it's a good idea guys." Steve admitted. "I know you guys love Danny, but I just think it's going to make things harder for him having you guys see him like this. He's having a hard enough time with me and Lou being there."

Kono hung her head, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I can't believe this is happening to him." She whispered.

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Steve sat down at his desk and quickly logged onto his computer, wanting to check his e-mails for any urgent issues before he headed home to Danny. Chin entered his office and slumped into a chair opposite Steve.

Steve looked up and the two men just stared at each other in silence for a moment.

"You think I'm making a mistake, don't you." Steve asked, settling back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't know what to think Brah." Chin admitted. "I obviously don't want this to get out and I definitely don't want Danny to lose his Daughter. But I also don't want anything to happen to him. Withdrawal can get dicey Steve."

"I know." Steve agreed. "But I promise you Chin. I'm not going to let anything happen to Danno. He's like a brother to me and I _will_ break my promise if I have to. I just really hope it doesn't come to that."

"Me too." Chin replied. "Me too."

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Steve entered the house, his arms laden with a case of Gatorade and bags of food he had picked up on the way home. He wasn't actually sure what Danny was going to be able tolerate as far as food goes, so he stuck with some homemade soups from the Deli, some cereal and bread. He kicked the front door shut with his foot and headed toward the kitchen and nearly collided with Lou who was on his way out.

"Hey, how's our boy." Steve asked him anxiously.

"He's starting to feel it I'm afraid." Lou informed him. "I was just bringing him some water.

"Here." Steve said, handing the case of Gatorade and bags to Lou and taking the water bottle from him. "I'll bring it up to him."

Steve took the water and hurried up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time as he headed to the master bedroom where Lou had gotten Danny settled. He entered the room and was heartbroken to see his partner, curled in fetal position on the bed shaking uncontrollably.

"Hey pal." Steve said, pulling over a chair and taking a seat beside the bed.

"Hey." Danny managed weakly.

"You look like shit" Steve stated bluntly, placing the water down on the night stand.

"I feel like shit." Danny replied. "I'm cramping something fierce."

And as another wave of pain hit him, Danny clenched his teeth and drew in a breath, wrapping his hands tightly around his midsection. He kicked his legs out and rolled to his back groaning.

"I know buddy." Steve tried to comfort him, brushing a clump of sweat soaked hair back from Danny's forehead. "You just gotta fight through it."

Steve held out his hand and Danny grabbed it tightly as another wave of pain hit him.

Steve looked away and had to blink his eyes several times to stop the tears from forming. He hated seeing his "brother" in so much pain. He felt helpless.

"Just breath Danno." Steve instructed him.

As instructed, Danny drew in a deep breath and loosened his grip on Steve's hand as his pain started to subside.

"Thatta boy." Steve encourage him. "You're doing great. Here…"

Steve reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the water bottle.

"…I need you drink some of this Danny."

Danny shook his head and groaned in protest.

"No. No I can't."

"Danny, it will help." Steve insisted.

"Only if it stays down. Which it won't." Danny replied.

"Danny, you have to drink something. OK? You're going to get dehydrated and I can't do anything about it if you won't drink."

"Fine!" Danny said, slamming his hand down on the side of the bed. "You've been warned."

Steve slid an arm under Danny's back, helping him sit up. Danny took the bottle, but his hands were shaking so badly he only succeeded in splashing water all over himself.

"Here. I got it. I got it." Steve said, taking the bottle and holding it up for Danny to take a sip.

"More. I need you to drink some more." Steve said as Danny stopped drinking after only a few small sips.

Danny managed to drink just a little more before pushing the bottle away and settling back on the bed.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." Steve replied, recapping the water and returning it the nightstand. "I'm afraid this is just the beginning pal.

"I know. But, you don't have to be doing this. You could have just brought me to the hospital."

"I told you I wouldn't." Steve reminded him.

"I know. Thank you."

Steve smiled at his partner.

"I hate seeing you like this Danno."

"Yeah well, I got no one to blame but myself."

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but before he could Danny through himself over the side of the bed, everything he just drank coming back up into a bucket that Lou had wisely placed beside the bed.

As Danny wretched into the bucket, Steve reached out, rubbing his partner back.

_Shit._ He thought to himself. _I think I've made a big mistake._

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Broken-Chapter 7

Steve paced nervously in the living room, listening to the sound of the ocean waves crashing on shore through the open windows of his craftsman style home. Normally he found the sound soothing, but nothing seemed to be helping his frayed nerves at this point. It had been nearly 48 hours since Danny's withdrawal symptoms first began and there didn't appear to be any end in sight. Neither Danny nor Steve had gotten much sleep the night before. Danny was hurting big time and Steve had been able to do little to help. He managed to get a little bit of fluid into him, but not nearly enough as Danny was clearly sweating out more than he was taking in. Steve knew something had to be done soon.

A loud knock on the front door caused Steve to snap to attention and he quickly rushed to answer it.

He opened the door and Chin was standing there, looking as anxious as Steve.

"Chin. Thank God. Did you get?"

"Yeah." Chin replied, stepping into the house and handing a backpack to Steve. "Right here."

"He didn't ask a whole lot of questions. Did he? Steve asked.

"Not one. This guy must owe you big time." Chin replied.

"Yeah. You could say that." Steve said, opening the backpack to reveal several fluid bags, tubing and other supplies necessary to start an IV.

The "guy" that Chin was referring to was Dr. Marcus West. He was an old Seal buddy of Steve's who moved to Hawaii after retiring from the Navy. He now spent his days operating a free clinic that catered to the homeless and poor residents of the island.

"I take it from the contents of the bag that Danny is not doing too well."

Steve shook his head.

"Not at all, but this should help. Thanks for picking it up. Grover's kid is on a break from school and I know he wanted to spend time with her. I didn't have the heart to ask him."

"Hey, whatever you need." Chin reminded him. "Kono and I here for your guys. Always."

Steve smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Is Danny asleep?"

His question was answered by a large crash that came from Steve's bedroom.

"I'll take that as a no." Chin replied and quickly followed Steve who was already half way up the stairs.

The two men rushed into Steve's bedroom and found Danny laying on the floor.

"Danny!" Steve hurried to his side and found Danny was barely conscious.

"Danny…hey." He said gently shaking him to elicit a response. Danny let out a barely audible groan, but otherwise did not respond.

"Steve, he's burning up." Chin exclaimed, his hand resting on Danny's forehead.

"I know. Look out!" Steve said as he quickly scooped his frail partner into his arms. Chin quickly moved to help.

"I got him." Steve insisted. "Get that bathroom door for me."

Chin rushed ahead, opening the door. He quickly yanked back the shower curtain and Steve gently placed his partner down in the tub.

"Turn that on." Steve instructed. "Make sure it's cold."

Chin did as instructed and then stood back as the cold water began to rain down on Danny and Steve.

"Steve, we really need to call an ambulance." Chin insisted.

"Not yet." Steve said, brushing Danny's wet hair back from his forehead. "Just let him cool down. He's gonna be fine."

"Steve!"

"I said not yet Chin!" Steve hollered at him. "Give him a minute!"

Steve turner his attention back to his partner and gently slapped his face.

"Come on Danno. Come on buddy. Open your eyes."

Danny groaned. His eyes fluttered open and he raised his hand to grab Steve's.

"There you go." Steve encouraged him.

"Steve?" Danny said groggily.

"Yeah buddy. I'm right here."

Chin let out a sigh of relief.

"You do that again and I swear to God I will kill you myself." Steve said to Danny.

Danny glanced around, clearly confused.

"I'm in the shower." He stated matter of factly.

"Yes you are." Steve confirmed.

"I have my clothes on." Danny replied still very confused.

"Yes you do." Steve said chuckling.

"Why?" Danny asked him.

"You were burning up pal. We had to cool you down." Chin answered him.

Danny looked more confused and Steve could tell he was starting to panic.

"I… I don't remember."

"It's OK. Don't worry about it."

"Last thing I remember was getting up to look for you. I didn't know where you were."

"I was downstairs. I didn't go anywhere. I'm not leaving you. OK?"

Danny nodded.

"OK."

Steve turned his attention to Chin.

"Chin, check that medicine cabinet. See if there is any Tylenol or aspirin in there."

"Can he have that?" Chin asked as he frantically searched the cabinet.

"I certainly hope so." Steve replied. "We gotta give him something to break this fever."

"Not exactly the answer I was hoping for Brah." Chin responded, grabbing a bottle of aspirin from the shelf and handing it to Steve.

"Thanks."

"I'll go grab some water." Chin said, hurrying out of the bathroom.

Steve turned his attention back to Danny.

"You ready to get out of there?" Steve asked him.

"No…not yet." Danny mumbled. "Feels good. I think I'll just stay here a minute."

"Ok." Steve nodded. He stared at his partner for a moment before adding, "You scared the shit out of me Danno."

Danny sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I know you are buddy." Steve replied, gently squeezing Danny's shoulder. "I know."

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Danny stayed resting under the cool shower for a good 15 minutes. When he was ready, Steve brought him some dry clothes and gave him some privacy while he changed. Chin and Steve stood by nervously outside the bedroom door though…just in case. When Danny's was dressed, they help him settle back into Steve's bed and Steve started preparing the IV.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Danny asked nervously as Steve made his preparations.

Chin smirked as Steve rolled his eyes.

"Don't start Danno."

"I'm not starting anything." Danny defended himself. "I just want to be sure before you attempt to stick that thing into my arm that you've done this before."

"Yes Danny. I have done this before. As a Seal, I was trained in triage."

"Oh… OK. Danny replied, then quickly added. "How long has it been? You know…since you've last done this."

Steve dropped his arms to his side in frustration as Chin tried to stifle his laughter.

"Seriously?"

"Yes seriously." Danny replied. "I would like to know. It would make me feel better."

"Fine." Steve said through clenched teeth. "I don't know exactly…maybe 6 or 7 years."

"Wow! 6 or 7 years." Danny repeated. "That's a long time."

Steve rolled his eyes again and turned to Chin.

"Could ya help me out here?"

"Yeah. Sure." Chin replied pushing Steve aside and taking a seat beside Danny on the bed.

"Danny, listen…we _need _to get this IV started. If we don't, we're going to have to call an ambulance because you are severely dehydrated. You don't want that. Do you?"

"No." Danny replied, he eyes wide with fear.

"Then just relax. OK?"

"OK. I'll try." Danny nodded.

"Good boy." Chin replied, patting Danny's leg before getting up and trading places with Steve once again.

Steve placed a sterile pad on the bed beside Danny and laid out what he needed to get started. Danny watched him nervously, but didn't object further.

"OK." Steve said "Here we go. I'm going to put this in your left hand. OK?"

Danny nodded as Steve tied a tourniquet to the lower part of his arm and then cleaned his hand thoroughly with an alcohol swab.

"OK try to hold still."

Steve used his thumb to pull the skin on Danny's hand tight and attempted to line up the needle with Danny's vein. But Danny was shaking so much, he was having trouble.

"Seriously Danny. You need to hold still."

"I'm trying. Would you quit yelling at me!"

"I'm not yelling at you!" Steve shot back. "But if I miss this vein, we have to go through this all over again!"

"Guys. Come on." Chin said trying to calm the situation.

"You're right." Steve replied. "Sorry. Come on Danno. We can do this."

"Ok" Danny said, closing his eyes and trying relax.

Steve grasped Danny's hand tightly using his thumb and fingers on either side to pull the skin tight and tried again to insert the needle into the vein.

"There I got it." He said excitedly, retracting the needle and securing the catheter to Danny's hand.

"We done." Danny asked, opening his eyes and glancing down at his hand.

"Not quite. Almost." Steve replied.

Steve quickly secured the rest of the IV tubing and hung the bag on a wire hanger from the bedframe.

"Now we're done." Steve proclaimed, removing his latex gloves and patting Danny's arm as he smiled proudly.

"Oh good." Danny sighed. "Thank you for not killing me." He added quite seriously.

Chin couldn't control his laughter this time, but Steve wasn't amused.

"Seriously? Are you kidding me right now? You really thought I was going to kill you inserting an IV?"

"What?" Danny replied. "It could happen. Air bubbles! I saw it on TV once."

"Air bubbles? Air bubbles? You really think I would…."

"Well no not intentionally." Danny interrupted.

"Well thank you partner." Steve shot back sarcastically. "I really appreciate the trust you have in me. Thank you!"

"There you go yelling at me again. I was just giving you a compliment. You did a good job. I am still here. You're so defensive." Danny insisted.

"Is he kidding me right now?" Steve said.

"OK!" Chin said, taking Steve by the arm and pulling him off the bed.

"I swear to God Chin." Steve muttered. "He is going to drive me to drink!"

"I think you two need to spend a little time apart. Steve, why don't I keep Danny company for a while and you can go get some rest. How's that sound?"

"Yeah fine." Steve replied.

Danny watched his friend head toward the door, noticing for the first time just how tired Steve looked.

"Hey Steve." He called out to him.

"Yeah Danno." Steve replied, turning back to him.

"Thanks."

Steve smiled back at him.

"Anytime pal. Get some rest."

"You too." Danny replied.

When Steve was gone, Chin took a seat beside Danny on the bed.

"Well kiddo. Looks like it's just you and me."

Danny gave him a weak smile and sighed.

"You OK?" Chin asked him.

Danny shrugged.

"I don't know. He's right. I am kind of impossible at times. I don't mean to be." He said sadly.

"He knows." Chin assured him. "He loves you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah." Danny replied. "I know."

To be continued…


	8. Chapter 8

Broken-Chapter 8

Steve opened the refrigerator and peered inside hoping to find something edible to calm his growling stomach. He frowned when he found that aside from some jello, assorted soups and bottles of Gatorade, there wasn't a whole lot to choose from. There was a box with some leftover pizza that Chin had brought over the night before and although it was only 7:00 in the morning, he decided that it was the most appealing option. He pulled the box from the refrigerator and made a mental note to pick up some groceries on the way back from the office.

Danny had been at his house almost a week now and many of his physical symptoms were finally starting to subside so Steve decided it would be OK to leave him for a couple hours to check in at work.

Steve grabbed a slice of pizza from the box and headed into the living room. Danny, who had been watching the morning news from Steve's recliner, looked up at his partner and upon taking note of the pizza in his hand, scowled at him.

"What?" Steve asked, his mouth full of pizza.

"Are you serious?" Danny asked him, motioning toward the pizza in his partner's hand.

"What?" Steve repeated. "I asked you if you wanted anything!"

"You asked if I wanted Jello!" Danny snapped. "You're eating pizza!"

Steve rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. Would you like some pizza Danny?" He asked calmly.

Danny shook his head.

"You know I can't handle pizza right now. I have been on a mostly liquid diet for the past week. Do you want me to hurl all over you?"

"No thank you. Been there. Done that." Steve snapped back.

Danny exhaled loudly and hung his head. Steve immediately regretted getting snippy with him. While Danny's physical symptoms had started to subside, his anxiety level was only getting worse -a side effect of being completely off his medication. And when Danny was stressed, Danny was grumpy. It was miserable for both of them, but Steve knew that Danny couldn't help it. It was how he coped.

"Look, I'm sorry." Steve offered. "I think there may be some eggs in fridge. Do you want me to make you some?"

"No, forget about it. I'm fine." Danny replied without looking up.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked him.

"Nothing." Danny insisted.

"Something is wrong. I know you. Now what it is it?"

"It's Grace." Danny replied.

"What about Grace? Grace is fine."

"Well see, I wouldn't know that because I haven't been able to reach her for the past two days."

"Did you leave her a message?"

"Did I leave her a message? Of course I left her a message!" Danny snapped at him.

"OK calm down. I'm just trying to help here. How about Rachel. Have you tried calling Rachel?"

"No, I didn't call Rachel."

"Why not."

"Because…Because that would entail lying to her about where I am and I can't do that."

"Uh, I hate to break it to you pal. But you've already lied to her once."

"I don't mean I _can't_ lie to her. I mean I'm just not good at it. She can always tell when I'm lying. I don't know how, but she just does. It's like she has this Danny Williams bullshit detector built into her brain or something. I'm lucky she didn't call me on it when I first gave her that bogus subpoena story."

"OK Danny, I am sure that Grace is fine. If she wasn't, Rachel would call. You know that."

"I know. You're right." Danny said nodding.

"So just relax."

"OK."

"OK?" Steve looked at his partner, still not convinced Danny was calm.

"Yes. OK." Danny insisted. "Go! Go to the office. I know you wanted to check in."

"Yeah, I do." Steve replied. "But I don't want to leave you if you're upset."

Danny looked up at Steve and tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine. Really."

"I'll only be a couple hours." Steve informed him.

"Well don't rush on my account. It will be nice not having you hovering for once."

Steve laughed. Danny was trying to make him feel better about leaving and he appreciated it. But he still worried.

"OK." Steve said, grabbing his badge off the coffee table and heading toward the door. "I have my cell phone if you need me. DO NOT leave this house."

"Yeah. Yeah." Danny replied.

"Danno, I'm serious."

Danny threw his hands in the air and looked around.

"Where am I going to go?"

"OK. Good boy. I'll be back." And as he walked out the door he added, "Love you!"

"Love you too!" Danny jokingly called after him.

5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0-5-0

Things had been slow at the office and the team seemed to have everything under control when Steve arrived. He stayed a couple of hours anyway, going through e-mails, checking in with the Governor and just catching up with his friends. They were all very concerned about what was going on with Danny, especially Kono who had yet to see him. They were encouraged by the fact that Steve felt Danny was OK enough to leave alone, but also understood when Steve wanted to head back to the house.

Steve arrived back at the house shortly before ten. He entered the house, his arms full of grocery bags and immediately called out to his partner.

"There you are!" Danny exclaimed, rushing into the room from the kitchen. "Where the hell have you been?"

He looked absolutely horrible. He was sweating and breathing hard. Something had obviously set him off.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Steve said, setting the bags down on the floor. "Danny, what's going on?"

"I need my keys! Where are my keys? Have you seen them?" Danny asked anxiously.

"I have your keys." Steve told him, trying to keep his voice calm.

Steve had made sure he always had Danny's keys on him and this was exactly the reason why.

"Give them to me." Danny insisted.

"No Danny. You're not going anywhere. You don't need your keys."

"I do!" Danny hollered. "I need to see Grace! I need to see her now!"

"Why?" Steve asked, his voice rising with the tension in the room. "What is so urgent that you have to see her right now?"

"Rachel knows." Danny exclaimed, gasping for breath. "She knows I've been lying to her! She knows I'm here!"

"No. Rachel thinks you are in New Jersey. You're just being paranoid." Steve insisted.

"No she doesn't. Not anymore. I just spoke with her."

"You called Rachel?"

"Yes! I had to. I needed to check on Grace. But I screwed up and accidentally let slip that I was here. She knows I lied to her. She's pissed. She's probably on the phone right now with her lawyer!"

"OK calm down Danny. Please." Steve begged his friend.

"I can't! I can't!" Danny cried bending over and resting his hands on his knees. "Oh my god! I can't breathe."

"Yes you can Danny. You can." Steve tried to encourage him.

"No, I can't." Danny insisted, truly gasping for air now and grasping at his chest. "I think I'm having a heart attack. I can't breathe!"

"You're not having a heart attack Danno." Steve informed him, grasping him by the arms and forcing him to stand upright. "Look at me."

Danny looked up at his partner, tears streaming down his face. His breathing coming in quick gasps as he shook uncontrollably.

"Look at me Danno." Steve repeated. "You are not having a heart attack. OK? You are having a panic attack. You need to calm down and breathe. Come on breathe with me. In and out. Come on."

Steve inhaled deeply and exhaled through his mouth, encouraging Danny to do the same. Danny did as instructed and it seemed to help, at least a little.

"Good boy." Steve said, taking Danny by the arm and guiding him over to the couch. "You're doing so good. Keep it up."

He had just gotten Danny seated on the couch when his cell phone rang. Steve looked at it and was shocked to see "Rachel Edwards" on the caller ID.

"Who is it?" Danny asked, still struggling a bit to breath.

"It's Rachel." Steve informed him.

"Oh my God! Why is she calling you?"

"It's OK Danny. Just relax. I'll handle it."

Danny buried his face in his hands as Steve hit the call button on the phone.

"Rachel, hey." He said. Trying to sound casual as he walked across the room to distance himself from Danny.

"Steve, what is going on?" Rachel had decided to skip the pleasantries and get straight to the point.

"What do you mean?" Steve stammered nervously –trying to play dumb."

"I mean, Danny just called me five time in the last hour. I was at the pediatrician with the baby so I had my cell off. But he left me these frantic messages. Scared me to death!"

"Wow! Five times. That _is_ excessive." Steve agreed, glancing over at Danny who had once again stopped breathing and was turning white as a ghost.

"Hey! Breathe!" Steve shouted at him, momentarily forgetting that he was still on a call with Rachel.

"I am breathing." Rachel insisted. "Who are you talking to? Is that Danny?"

"Rachel…"

"It is Danny. Isn't it? I didn't misunderstand him. He's with you isn't he?"

"Rachel, I promise you I will explain everything, but now really isn't a good time."

"Why isn't he in New Jersey? Has he been with you this whole time?"

"Like I said Rachel, now really isn't a good time." Steve replied, hustling back over to Danny and placing a calming hand on his shoulder.

"Something is wrong." Rachel said, the panic in her own voice now evident.

"Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine."

"You're lying." Rachel exclaimed. "I know you're lying. Something is wrong. I could hear it in Danny's voice and I can hear it in yours. I'm coming over there."

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." Steve replied.

"Steven, I am coming over. I just have to drop the baby off at the neighbors and I'll be there in half an hour."

And before Steve could object further, Rachel had hung up.

To be continued…

**Special thanks to all those who have taken the time to review. I really appreciate the input.**


	9. Chapter 9

BROKEN-Chapter 9

True to her word, Rachel's car pulled into Steve's driveway 30 minutes later. Steve hustled Danny upstairs to his room and made him give "Danno's 100% guarantee" that he wasn't going to keel over from anxiety before Steve returned. Before he left, Steve and raised the volume on the TV a bit, hoping Danny wouldn't be able to hear his conversation with Rachel over the noise. He made it back downstairs just as Rachel rang the bell.

Opening the door, he gave Rachel a forced smile.

"Rachel. Look at that. 30 minutes on the dot. You _are_ punctual."

"Hello Steven." Rachel greeted him rather curtly. "May I come in?"

"I guess. You're here." Steve replied, stepping aside and motioning for Rachel to come in.

Rachel entered the house and immediately looked around for Danny. Not seeing him, she turned back to Steve.

"So is Danny here or not?" She asked him.

"If I say no, will you leave?" Steve asked hopefully.

"No." Rachel shot back.

"Yeah, he's here." Steve admitted.

"Excellent." Rachel said, then turning toward stairs, she started to call for Danny.

"No! No yelling! Shhh!" Steve quickly clamped his hand over Rachel's mouth and started pushing her toward the back door. "Outside! Now!"

Rachel tried to stand her ground, but Steve was stronger and had her out the back door in a matter of seconds. Furious, she bit down hard on Steve's hand.

"Ow! What did you do that for?" Steve yelled at her, closing the door behind them.

"Well…" Rachel huffed. "Serves you right for manhandling me like that! What on earth is the matter with you?"

"Rachel…"

"And don't lie to me Steven." Rachel warned. "You promised me you would explain what was going on."

"Yes, I did." Steve agreed, inspecting the bite marks on his hand. "But I also seem to remember telling you that now was not a good time."

"Why? Why isn't it a good time? Is Danny hurt?"

"No, Danny is not hurt." Steve replied.

"Is he sick?"

Steve thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah…you could say that."

"Well is he or isn't he?" Rachel demanded to know.

"Yes. He's sick. He's…really sick."

Steve regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth. Rachel's expression went from angry to terrified in split second and she brought her hands to her mouth as she stifled a cry.

"I mean…he's not dying or anything." He quickly added.

"Steven!" Rachel screamed at him. "You have ten seconds to start explaining what the hell is going on or I am really going to freak out."

"Ok!" Steve replied, reaching out to Rachel. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well, you have." Rachel replied, near tears.

"I'm sorry Rachel. Really. Come here." Steve said guiding her to the chairs overlooking of the beach. "Sit down. I'll explain everything."

The two took a seat and Steve reluctantly explained everything to Danny's ex, hoping the whole time that he wasn't making a huge mistake. When he was done, Rachel just sat there, staring out at the water. After a few moments of tense silence, she finally spoke.

"Wow." She said quietly, her voice cracking. "I wasn't expecting that. Drugs? Danny? Really?"

"He was desperate Rachel. He didn't want anyone to know what was going on with him. He was just trying to cope."

"But you figured it out. And you lied for him. Why? Why didn't he just tell me?"

Steve nearly jumped from his chair.

"Are you frickin' kidding me right now? He was terrified of losing his daughter! What did you expect?"

"Steven, you just told me that my ex-husband, the father of my child, may have an anxiety disorder and that he nearly killed himself using drugs to help him deal and you think the first thing I am going to do, is take his daughter from him and ruin his career. Is that really what you think of me? Is that what _Danny_ thinks of me?" Rachel asked, the tears freely flowing now.

"Well, with all due respect Rachel, it wouldn't be the first time you tried to take Gracie from him."

"That was different." Rachel insisted. "Danny and I were in a different place then. We had just gone through a very bitter divorce…"

"You tried to move her to Vegas last year!" Steve hollered at her. "That was supposedly after you reconciled. Or have you forgotten about that? Because I'll tell ya…Danny hasn't."

"I had no choice! My husband got a job. We had just gotten back together after the baby. I was trying to save my marriage! What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to say 'I'm sorry Stan. I'm not moving my daughter thousands of miles from her father –_again_. It's not fair and it's not right!' How about choosing you daughter's needs over your husband's for once!"

"That's not fair!" Rachel cried.

"No! I'll tell you what's not fair!" Steve spat back. "Putting Danny through this hell again and again! It's cruel Rachel!"

Rachel buried her face in her hands and continued to sob as Steve continued.

"Do you have any idea what it was like seeing Danny go through that over and over again? It kept me up at night! I just kept praying that things would go Danny's way because I didn't know what he was going to do if they didn't! Did you ever think of that? Did you ever think of what you were doing to him?"

Steve turned to the ocean and took in breath of the ocean air.

"You didn't even have the guts to face him in court." He reminded her.

"I knew they wouldn't let us take her. I knew it would all work out." Rachel sobbed.

"So that makes it OK?" Steve hissed. "You put Danny through hell, so _you_ wouldn't have to be the one to tell your husband you weren't leaving the island! You let the courts be the bad guy so you didn't have to be! What would you have done if they hadn't ruled in Danny's favor? Huh? Would have taken Gracie off this island?"

Rachel hung her head, unable to look Steve in the eyes.

"Yeah." Steve nodded. "That's what I thought. And you wonder why Danny is as screwed up as he is."

To be continued…


	10. Chapter 10

Broken –Chapter 10

"Hey, you still alive in here?"

Danny sprang up on the bed at the sound of his partner's voice. He had been laying there in silence, having long since turned off the TV that Steve had left on to distract him. It wasn't distracting. It was just annoying so Danny turned it off, listening instead to muffled sounds of Steve and his ex-wife arguing outside until they eventually stopped. That had been almost 30 minutes ago and Danny had been going out his mind since then, wondering what was happening.

"Is she gone? Is she pissed? What am I saying? Of course she's pissed! You didn't tell her everything, did you?"

Steve held his hands up to stop the onslaught of Danny's rapid fire questions.

"Hey! Take a breath." Steve instructed him.

"Sorry." Danny apologized. "Is the gone?"

Steve shook his head.

"No. She's downstairs. She wants to talk to you."

Danny groaned and began wringing his hand nervously.

"Um…I don't know about that."

"Danny, if I thought she was going to read you the riot act, believe me, I'd boot her ass out of here. But she's genuinely concerned about you. She's on your side."

"Sure. She says that now. But as soon as she leaves here she'll be on the phone with her lawyer."

"I don't think so."

"Oh is that so?" Danny snapped sarcastically. "Well excuse me but I think I know my ex little better than you."

Steve rolled his eyes, realizing he wasn't going to win this argument.

"OK fine. If that's what you really think, then it's probably a good idea to go down and talk to her first. Yeah?"

Danny considered this for a moment.

"Danny! She just wants to talk. You're already expecting the worse, so what could this possibly hurt?"

Danny sighed.

"Fine! Fine! I'll go talk to her."

"Good boy." Steve replied, giving Danny a supportive slap on the shoulder.

"How do I look? Do I look OK?" Danny asked nervously, tugging on his now oversized t-shirt and running his hands through his hair.

Steve gave his partner a supportive smile. Danny really did look like hell. His usual, perfectly coiffed hair hadn't seen a blow dryer or hair product in days and now sat in somewhat wavy mop on his head. His cheeks were sunken in from all the weight he had loss and dark circles were prominent beneath his bright blue eyes.

"Do you think you could stall her while I shave?" Danny asked him.

Steve shook his head.

"No, honestly, I don't think so." Steve replied. "You look fine." He lied.

"Ok." Danny nodded and headed toward the door. Steve followed him and the two headed downstairs.

Rachel was pacing the living room nervously when she spotted Danny and Steve descending the staircase. She gasped and brought her hands to her mouth when she got a good look at her ex. Danny, noticing her reaction stopped and turned anxiously back toward Steve.

"It's OK. Go on." Steve whispered to him.

"Oh my God Danny." Rachel cried. Crossing to meet her ex at the base of the staircase she quickly through her arms around.

Danny's body stiffened in Rachel's embrace.

"I'm OK." Danny said quietly.

"Really?" Rachel asked, releasing Danny and then placing her hands on his face to look him in the eyes. "Because you look awful."

"Is that what you came here for? To tell me how awful I look?" Danny asked, pushing himself from her from her grasp and walking to the opposite side of the room.

Rachel glanced at Steve who have her a sympathetic smile.

"No. No of course not." She insisted. "I'm here because I'm worried about you."

"OK that's a lie." Danny shot back. "You are here because of Grace. You don't care what happens to me?"

"Danny, that's not true." Rachel insisted, shaking her head.

"Yes it is." Danny replied.

"Danny, come on." Steve said.

"Don't 'come on' me!" Danny snapped at him. "I know this woman. I lived with her for nine years and I know how she thinks. OK? And I know what she's thinking right now."

"Oh I can promise you Daniel, you have no idea what I'm thinking right now." Rachel insisted.

"Sure I do!" Danny laughed, throwing his hands in the air. "You're thinking 'that stupid idiot has really fucked up now and now…now I can take my daughter wherever I want and there is not a damn thing he can do about it!'"

"Danny relax." Steve pleaded. He had been pretty confident that Rachel was truly concerned about Danny's well-being and had no intention of taking Grace. But Danny seemed hell bent on his own destruction at the moment.

"Stop telling me to relax!" Danny shouted at him.

Steve gave up trying to reason with Danny and instead turned his attention to Rachel.

"OK Rachel, remember what we talked about? This is exactly what I was talking about. It's a side effect of the withdrawal. Please, please don't hold this against him."

"What are you talking about? What exactly did you tell her?" Danny demanded.

Steve groaned. This really wasn't turning out how he envisioned.

"Danny." Rachel took a step toward him and addressed him calmly. "Listen, I know you are upset with me and you have every right to be. I never should have tried to take Gracie from you. OK? I admit that."

Danny chuckled.

"Oh that's very big of you. I don't see how you could deny it."

Steve opened his mouth to interject again, but Rachel raised her hand to stop him.

"You're right Danny. You are absolutely right. But I promise you…I am not going to take Gracie from you. Not because of this. This is just as much my fault as it is yours and I take responsibility for that. I do! I just want us to work this out…for Grace."

Steve could see Danny start to relax as Rachel's words sunk in.

"Come on." Steve said, placing a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Let's just sit down and talk about this. OK?"

"Yeah OK." Danny nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Steve replied as the he and Danny took a seat on the couch. "It's all good."

Rachel took a seat in the recliner across from them.

"I want to see Grace." Danny told them.

"Of course." Rachel replied.

"This weekend." Danny clarified. "I want her with me, at my house this weekend. OK? I…I…I missed my weekend so I want her this weekend with me."

Rachel's jaw dropped and she glanced nervously at Steve.

"Oh Danny…I don't know that I'm comfortable with that." She told him.

"What are you talking about?" Danny said, raising his voice once again. "You just said I could see her!"

"See her…yes! But I meant a supervised visit."

"A supervised visit? I don't need supervision to see my own daughter!"

"I'm sorry Danny, but until you've seen a doctor and have this situation under control, I'm afraid you do."

"She's right Danno." Steve said.

Danny whipped around on the couch to face his partner.

"Oh now you're taking her side?"

"It's not about taking sides Danny. It's about what's best for Gracie!" Steve shot back.

"OK! OK! Fine Danny." Rachel interrupted. "You can have Gracie this weekend."

"What?" Steve asked, shocked by Rachel's declaration. He loved his partner, but he really didn't think leaving Gracie with him was a good idea right now.

"Do you mean it?" Danny asked. "Please don't say it if you don't mean it."

"Let me finish." Rachel replied. "You can have Gracie on one condition."

"What that?" Both Danny and Steve asked in unison.

"You can have Gracie if you both stay here-with Steve. Would that be OK with you Steve?"

"Of course! I'd love that. What do you think Danno? That'll work. Right?"

Danny buried his face in his hands.

"I don't need a babysitter." He groaned. "I can take care of my own child."

"Of course you can." Rachel agreed. "It's has nothing to do with your ability to care for Grace. I know you will always take care of her. But I also know that you've been having nightmares and panic attacks and Gracie would not know how to deal with that."

"She's right buddy."

Danny didn't respond, he just sat there with his head in his hands.

"Come on!" Steve said excitedly. "It'll be great! We can invite Chin, Kono and Kamekono over. We'll have a cookout. Gracie will love it!"

"OK." Danny replied with a little less enthusiasm than Steve was hoping for.

"OK?" Rachel tried this time.

"OK! OK! Yes. Let's do it." Danny said.

"Alright then." Rachel said, getting up from her chair. "I guess I should get going then. I have to get home and get Gracie packed."

"I'll walk you out." Steve said, getting up to join her.

"Hey Rach." Danny said.

"Yeah." She replied, turning back to face him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome Danny. I'll see you soon."

Steve opened the front door and Rachel stepped out. Before heading to her care she turned back to Steve.

"You take care of him. OK?"

Steve smiled at her.

"Always."

To be continued…


	11. Chapter 11

Broken Chapter 11

"What the hell is that?" Danny exclaimed as he stared down at that heaping plate of food placed in front of him by Kamekono.

"That my brotha, is the Kamekono special. Guaranteed to help build your strength back up and put some meat back on those bones."

"Wow!" Kono chuckled as she took seat next Danny at the picnic table in Steve's backyard.

Danny looked back down at the plate which contained an enormous hamburger that was piled high with assorted ingredients, not all of which Danny could identify. He really couldn't see how he could even pick it up, much less fit it into his mouth. And what little of the plate that wasn't occupied by the aforementioned burger, was filled Kamekono's famous garlic shrimp.

"OK." Danny said, grinning up at his large friend. "And are we trying to get me to gain all the weight back in one sitting?"

"You aren't going to eat all that. Are you Danno?" Gracie asked her father, staring at the plate with wide eyes.

"No Monkey. I am not. In fact, I'm not going to eat any of it."

"What do you mean?" Kamekono asked him, looking hurt. "That plate was prepared with love Brah."

"Awe!" Kono responded, giving Danny a playful jab to the ribs.

"OK. I appreciate that big guy. I do. But you seem to forget that I am like one quarter of your size."

"I haven't forgotten." Kamekono insisted. "In fact, I always take extra special care when you're around Shorty. I wouldn't want to trip over you and squash you like a bug." He teased, winking at Grace who couldn't help but laugh at her father's expense.

"Oh you think that's funny?" Danny said, reaching out and playfully tickling his daughter.

"Just a little." Gracie giggled.

"I see how you are. Here…" he said pushing the plate in front her. "Have some shrimp."

"What is this?" Chin asked stepping out into the yard through the slider with Steve close behind. "I thought I was making you some of my Aunty's famous grilled chicken?" He asked Danny, waving a plate of raw chicken in the air for emphasis.

"You are. I am waiting patiently." Danny informed him. "I don't know what this is." He said gesturing to Kamekono's plate.

"_That_ is guaranteed to make you sick." Steve replied, placing a bowl of fruit salad and pasta salad down on the table. "Don't eat that."

"Hey!" Kamekono objected. "Are you insinuating that my food is bad Brah?"

"No. Not at all. I love your food big guy." And to emphasize his point he grabbed a shrimp from the overflowing plate and took bite. "I'm merely pointing out that Danny here has been on a semi-liquid diet for over a week and maybe a greasy hamburger and garlic shrimp aren't the best options for him right now."

Kamekono considered this for a moment and then nodded.

"OK. I can see your point."

"Great. Leave those shrimp though. I'll eat em'." Steve replied heading toward the grill.

"Hey monkey. I feel like taking a walk on the beach." Danny said, turning his attention to Grace. "You wanna come with?"

Gracie grinned from ear to ear and nodded happily.

"Well come on then." Danny replied, getting up from the bench and taking his daughter's hand.

"Hey, don't be too long." Chin said as the two headed toward the beach. "The chicken shouldn't take at long to cook. Gracie, you wanted a dog, right?"

"Yes please." Gracie replied, glancing back at her Uncle Chin and giving him a smile.

"Oh, she is so polite." Kono pointed out as she watched Danny and Grace head off.

"Yeah." Steve agreed. "She's a good girl."

"Does she know what's going on with her Dad?" Kamekono asked.

Steve nodded.

"Yeah. Rachel talked to her. She left out the part about Danny self-medicating, but she knows the rest. I'll tell ya…she's a very mature little girl. She's handling it really well. It's gotta be very confusing for her though."

"I'm sure it is." Chin added, "I mean, it's hard for me to wrap my head around at times. I never imagined Danny was going through what he's been going through."

"Having Gracie here has really helped though." Steve pointed out. "You know, I woke up this morning and found the two of them asleep together on the couch. I think it was the first solid night of sleep Danny's had in weeks. I took a picture."

He pulled his phone from his pocket, clicked the photo open and handed it to Kono. In the photo, Danny slept peacefully, his arms wrapped tightly around his daughter. Grace, in turn, had her arms wrapped just as tightly around her father's.

"Oh, how sweet is that?" Kono gushed, handing the phone to Chin.

"I know. Right?" Steve smiled. "I sent it to Rachel. I wanted her to see how good Danno was doing with Gracie here."

"Gracie really is just what Danny needs right now." Chin said, smiling as he looked at the picture of his friend.

"Yes she is." Steve agreed.

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"You OK Danno?" Gracie asked her father as they walked hand in hand down the beautiful Hawaiian beach.

Danny smiled down at his daughter and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Am I OK? Let me tell you, I am more than OK now that you're here. Thank you for coming on this walk with me." He said, pulling his daughter close and giving her a hug. "Let's sit down for bit, I want talk to you while it's just the two of us."

Gracie nodded and Danny took a seat in the sand. But when Gracie attempted to take a seat next him, he quickly grabbed her arm.

"Hey! Hey! What are you doing? In my lap monkey." Gracie happily complied, gently settling into her Daddy's lap and wrapping her arms around him.

"Wow, you are getting so big." Danny pointed out. "I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to hold you like this. You need to stop growing."

"I think I'm a little too big already." Gracie giggled but made no attempt to move from her father's embrace.

"Yeah well, just humor me this one time." Danny replied.

"OK Danno." Gracie said, kissing him on the cheek. "So what did you want to talk about?" She asked, although she already knew the answer.

Danny sighed.

"Well Grace, I kinda wanted to talk to you about what's been going on with me the past few weeks."

"It's OK Danno. Mommy already explained it to me."

"Yeah? And what did she say."

"She said you been getting really nervous lately and you haven't been sleeping or eating well. And it was making you sick."

"Yeah, I guess that about sums it up." Danny replied. "Did you have any questions you wanted to ask me about it?"

Gracie hesitated a moment before replying.

"What's making you nervous?"

"Oh I don't know. Lots of things. _Stupid_ things." Danny admitted.

"They are not stupid things if they bother you Danno." Gracie informed him.

"Well that's very nice of you to say baby. But the truth is, I worry and obsess about things most people don't worry about. At least not to the extent that I do."

"Like work?"

"No, actually, under normal circumstances, work doesn't really stress me out all that much. In fact, works keeps me so busy it's one of the places I feel the least stressed out."

Gracie's head shot up off her father's chest and she gave him look of total confusion that caused Danny to laugh.

"I know…it's very confusing."

"But you get shot at at work." Gracie reminded him.

"Well, not _all_ the time." Danny pointed out. "But I've been trained to deal with that and I know how to protect myself so that doesn't bother me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I would prefer _not _to be shot at. But like I said, I know what to do when that happens, so I really don't worry about it. And neither should you."

"Then what is making you nervous?"

Danny shook his head.

"I really wish I could explain this in a way that makes sense."

He paused a moment to collect his thoughts before trying again.

"I don't like the feeling of not being in control and unfortunately, there are many things in life that you just can't control."

"Like what?" Gracie asked.

"Oh gosh, there is so much. Like, whether or not someone's going to like you. Or your baby girl growing up and trying new things on her own without you there to protect her."

"Like when I wanted to go to the mall all by myself last month with my friends and we ended up getting into that big fight."

"Exactly like you wanting to go to the mall by yourself." Danny said, then added. "By the way, I'm really sorry I grounded you that night."

Grace smiled.

"It's OK Danno. I understand."

"But this is what I'm talking about Gracie. Most parents might worry a _little_ about these things and that's normal. But I always seem to blow things way out of proportion, overreact and drive myself and everyone around me crazy. Just ask Uncle Steve. He'll totally back me up on that."

"And you can't make it stop?" Gracie asked, the sadness in her voice indicating that she was finally starting to understand.

Danny shook his head.

"I can't make it stop. And you know, I've always been this way so I didn't really realize it wasn't normal."

"And it's gotten worse?"

"Yeah, it's gotten worse. But in a way, that's a good thing, because now I know it's not normal and I'm going to see a special Doctor who is going to help me."

Gracie gave her father another hug.

"I'm sorry Danno."

"You don't have to be sorry." Danny replied, hugging her back. "But thank you for my hug."

"You're welcome."

"I love you."

"I love you too Danno."

"But now you have to get off my lap because I can't feel my legs anymore." Danny joked.

Gracie laughed and rolled off her father's lap. Grabbing Danny by the arm, she helped hoist him to his feet and Danny jumped up and down for moment to get the circulation flowing in his legs once more.

"I'm hungry. How about you?" He asked his daughter.

"I'm starving." She replied.

"Well let's go then before Kamekono eats all the food."

To be continued…


	12. Chapter 12

Broken- Chapter 12

Authors note: Sorry it took so long for an update. I've had a family emergency I've been dealing with. Thank you all for input.

Steve slapped his hand down hard on Danny's knee as they sat in the waiting room of Dr. Elaine Fisher's psychiatric office.

"Would you stop bouncing your knee like that! You're making me nauseous."

"I can't help it." Danny complained. "I'm nervous as hell."

"No kidding." Steve quipped. "I hadn't notice."

Danny glanced nervously across the room where a young woman reading a magazine glanced up at him, then quickly looked back down.

"Hey!" Danny whispered to Steve. "Do we know her? She keeps looking at me."

"No, we don't know her." Steve insisted. "And of course she's looking at you. You're pale as a ghost and shaking like a leaf. Would you relax!"

"I think she recognizes us." Danny said. "This was a mistake. We should go."

Danny started stand, but Steve grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back down.

"Sit down. Now stop it!"

The woman glanced up again and Steve smiled.

"Hey. How's it going?"

"Fine thanks." The woman replied sheepishly and then buried her face back in her magazine.

"Listen…"Steve turned his attention back to Danny. "You have got to calm down. How you doing with that paperwork?"

He glanced down at the clip board sitting on Danny's lap and found Danny had succeeded only in filling out his name. Steve groaned and snatched the clipboard from his partner.

"Give it here."

"What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing? I can't even read this and I know what your name is."

"Well I'm sorry, my hands are shaking." Danny shot back defensively.

"Fine. I'll do it." Steve said and starting working his way through the questions.

"Date of birth….Eight…twenty-three…seventy-six. Marital Status…divorced. Occupation….Detective. Emergency Contact…?

Steve paused and looked at Danny.

"Uh…Me?"

"Who else?" Danny said with a scowl.

"Emergency Contact….Steve McGarrett. Relationship…Boss.

"Don't put that!" Danny protested.

"Why not? "

"Put friend you idiot."

"Friend…slash…BOSS. Medical history…"

He shoved the clip board in Danny's face.

"History of any of this in your family?"

Danny glanced at the list containing things like depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder and other maladies that Danny knew very little about.

"Not that I know of." He replied shoving the clipboard away.

"OK. Moving on then. Prescriptions…" Steve paused again as Danny drew in an anxious breath and started bouncing his knee nervously again."

"We'll just leave that blank for now."

The door to the Doctor's office opened and an older woman in her late fifties step out. She stopped briefly at the reception desk and grabbed a file. She looked at a moment and then spoke.

"Danny Williams?" She called out, looking toward Steve and Danny, who were the only males in the room.

Danny put his head down and said nothing. Steve elbowed him in the ribs, but still Danny remained silent.

"Danny, she's calling you." Steve whispered. "Get up."

Danny shook his head.

Steve looked up at the Doctor, smiled and pointed to Danny who still hadn't raised his head. The Doctor nodded and made her way over to them.

"Danny?"

"Yeah?" Danny stammered nervously, as though he had no idea why she might be addressing him.

"How are you doing today? I'm Doctor Fisher."

"Oh…you know. I've been better." Danny replied truthfully, wringing his hands nervously and still refusing to make eye contact.

"He's really nervous." Steve pointed out.

"I can't see that." The Doctor said smiling. "And who might you be?"

"Steve McGarrett." He held his hand out and the Doctor shook it. "I'm Danny's…"

"Friend." Danny finished for him.

Steve nodded.

"That's right. I'm also his boss and his emergency contact." Steve informed her, pointing to the paperwork he was still holding for Danny.

"Wow!" The doctor said chuckling. "Sounds like a complicated relationship."

"You have no idea." Steve groaned.

"So Danny…" The Doctor turned back to her intended patient. "Shall we go into my office and have a little chat."

"Actually, I uh…I think I'm good. This is a mistake. I should just go."

"Whoa! Whoa!" Steve exclaimed. "What are you talking about? You're not going anywhere."

"I changed my mind." Danny replied.

"You can't change your mind Danny." Steve said lowering his voice, but still loud enough for the Doctor to hear. "We talked about this. Remember? This is not a choice!"

"Of course it is!" Danny snapped at him.

"Not if you want your job back." Steve threatened.

"Are you firing me?" Danny asked his voice raising with along with his panic level.

"OK guys, I'm going to stop you both right there." She looked around the waiting room which was filling up at this point with patients arriving to see the various therapist that also worked there. "Why don't the three of us go into my office and we can work this out in private."

"That sounds like a great idea." Steve replied, making not attempt to hide his frustration. He jumped up from the chair and headed off to toward the Doctor's office without waiting for either the Doctor or Danny to follow.

Doctor Fisher looked down at Danny.

"Danny is this all right with you? It is your appointment."

"Yeah I guess."

He had no choice really. Steve had the keys so he had no way of leaving unless he felt like walking. Although he did briefly consider it.

Danny got up and followed the Doctor into the office. Inside, Steve had already taken a seat in one of the two arm chairs directly across from the Doctors desk was drumming his fingers impatiently on the arms of the chair. Danny took a seat on the couch, just inside the door, while Dr. Fisher closed the door and made her way over to the desk.

Steve looked at his partner, and then looked at the empty chair beside him.

"Hey! What are doing way over there?"

"He's fine." The Doctor assured him. "If that's where he is comfortable he is more than welcome to sit there."

"Well Doc, that's really nice of you, but in case you hadn't notice…he's a flight risk so you'll pardon me if I'd like him a little further from the door.

"With all due respect Commander McGarrett, this is Doctor's office, not a jail cell."

"You know who I am?" Steve asked.

"I do." She nodded.

"Oh great." Danny groaned.

"Is that what is making you so nervous Danny? Because I can assure you that you aren't the first member of law enforcement that I have treated and I'm sure you won't be the last. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your job is very stressful."

"See, I told you!" Steve said to Danny. "I told him that."

"My job is not the problem." Danny insisted. "I am."

Steve shook his head.

"Why do you say stupid shit like that?"

"Because that is how he's feeling right now, Steve." Dr. Fisher answered for Danny.

"But…"Steve began but was cut off by the Doctor with a raise of her hand.

"Danny, I've looked through the file your Primary sent over and I understand he prescribed you some medication for anxiety a few months back. Is that not helping?"

"Not exactly." Danny muttered.

"Are you taking the medication as prescribed?"

Danny said nothing but began fidgeting nervously in his seat. Dr. Fisher looked at Steve, who also said nothing.

"Ok. That was supposed to be the easy question fellas."

Steve looked over at Danny again, wondering if he should say something or not. But Danny wasn't giving him any sign one way or the other. He just looked like he wanted to disappear.

"Well, it's really a two part question." Steve offered as explanation.

"How so?" The Doctor asked him.

"Well, to address the first part…yes was taking the medication."

"And the second part."

"Not as prescribed." Steve informed her.

"I see."

"Feel free to jump in here any time now Danno." Steve said and when Danny didn't respond he turned to him only to find Danny in the midst of yet another panic attack. Unfazed, having witnessed it so frequently in the last few weeks, Steve merely snapped his fingers at him.

"Hey! Breathe!"

"Whoah!" The Doctor jumped up from her desk and quickly rushed to Danny's side. "Danny, you all right?" She asked him, taking a seat beside him and gently placing a hand on his back.

"Slow deep breaths Danno. In and out." Steve said rising from his chair to assist the Doctor who looked more than little concerned.

Danny nodded and did as instructed and he started breathing at a normal pace once more.

"Does this happen a lot?" The Doctor asked.

"It has recently." Steve informed her. "I think his anxiety has been exacerbated by the withdrawal."

The Doctor gave him a confused look.

"Withdrawal? I don't understand. Even if Danny had stopped taking his prescribed medication, the dosage he prescribed was so small… it wouldn't cause serious withdrawal symptoms like this."

Steve sighed.

"Well, he wasn't exactly taking the prescribed dosage and he wasn't just taking his prescribed medication."

"Dammit Steve!" Danny protested.

"She has to know Danny. If she's going to help you we have to be honest about what's going on."

"Just relax Danny." The doctor said rubbing his back. "I need to know exactly what you are taking."

"I'm not taking anything now. That's the problem." Danny insisted.

"Actually, I think the problem started way before that." Steve interjected.

The doctor shook her head and got up from the couch.

"OK fellas, just give me one second."

She moved to her desk and picked up the phone.

"Hey Marcie, it's Doctor Fisher. Listen, I'm going to need you to cancel my next appointment. No, I know it's last minute just please give my apologies and try to reschedule as soon as possible."

The doctor hung up the phone and then turned her attention back to Danny and Steve.

"OK guys. I'm going to need you to start from the beginning."

To be continued…


End file.
